Day 3:Courage To Confront The Hard Things | 7 DAYS OF PRAYER & FASTING

Psalm 139:23–24 - Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

There are moments in life when we realize that we’ve become experts at avoiding certain things such as unresolved emotions, hard conversations, or parts of ourselves we’d rather not examine too closely. We stay busy (aka, distracted) without slowing down long enough to notice what’s happening beneath the surface.

Psalm 139 reminds us that God already knows our every thought, motive, and concern; and yet, David courageously invites God to search him, knowing that our Father is an omniscient God. David’s psalm is a reflection of this truth: that healing begins with honesty and by avoiding the hard things, we are blocking the healing that God wants us to experience.

Towards the end of last year, I lost my grandmother, Eva. There we were at the beginning of the holiday season and I’m grieving the deepest loss that I’ve ever experienced. Her transition brought about an unexpected stillness in my life, something that I now realize I needed, even in the midst of the holiday season. I became aware of thoughts and emotions that I’d seemingly never felt. 

And guess what?

It wasn’t the grief that created these thoughts and emotions…it revealed them. I began going to the gym earlier in the morning to avoid the crowd, listening to dead silence through my headphones. In quiet moments such as those, I found myself asking God to search me.

This courageous ask wasn’t about trying to make sense of the loss or rushing my way through grief. It was about having the courage to allow God to meet me in it. Her death signified the end of something familiar, and moving on required me to acknowledge that I wouldn’t be the same person as before. I did not want to carry unprocessed pain and numbness into the next chapter of my life. I’ve been there, done that before with past trauma and I wasn’t going to allow my negative trauma responses to bleed onto people that know, love, and trust me.

Inviting God to search me was an act of courageous surrender and trust. I was essentially saying this: “God, don’t let this loss harden me, close me off, or leave me stuck. Lead me through in a healthy way.” In asking God to search me, I was choosing courage over control, knowing that even in deep grief, God would lead me through.

As we pray and fast together, you may notice that silencing the distractions will unearth some thoughts and feelings that are a bit uncomfortable. For example, you may realize you're stressing about things you usually push aside. It may trigger boredom or even a bit of uneasiness, as you have more time to reflect on your internal thoughts and listen for God’s voice. Being alone with your thoughts can sometimes feel awkward or…dare I say heavy, especially if you're not used to it. I urge you to move confidently through it, knowing that God does not search our hearts to shame us, but to heal us.

Having the courage to confront the hard things is more about trusting God to do the work and less about doing the fixing ourselves. Courage is letting God tell you the truth about you and having faith that His truth will break the shackles off of your life. 

Courage is not pretending everything is okay.

Courage is not pretending everything is okay.

Courage is not pretending everything is okay. 

As you engage in this season of prayer and fasting, take your time to reflect on what feels vulnerable. Sit with God long enough to hear what He may be revealing. Healing begins where honesty lives.

Prayer:

God, search my heart and know me. Reveal what you want to heal, and give me the courage to face it with You. Lead me in a healthy way; I trust you and have faith that you will always work things out for the good.

Amen.

Written by: Reese Pratt | Sr. Director of Operations, Anthem Church