DAY 3: Courage to Walk in Unity
Psalm 133 (NIV) How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down on the collar of his robe. It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.
Can I be honest with you?
For most of my life, I confused peace with silence. I thought they
were the same thing. Angie and I have been married over twenty-one years now, and if you'd asked me ten years ago what a "good season" looked like, I would've pointed to the quiet ones. Nobody upset. Nobody pushing back. I called that unity.
It wasn't. It was two people who had gotten really good at not saying the thing.
I'd feel something off — a tone, a little distance — and I'd let it ride, because bringing it up felt scarier than the silence did. Sound familiar?
Here's what two decades has taught me: the seasons Angie and I actually felt closest weren't the quiet ones. They were the seasons one of us got brave enough to say, "can we talk about something." Those conversations never felt unifying while they were happening — they felt like risk. But on the other side of them, something had actually shifted. We were closer, not further apart.
That's the difference between peacekeeping and peacemaking, and if you don't learn to tell them apart, it'll cost you. Peacekeeping says, "I'll just let it go, for the sake of unity." Peacemaking says, "I love this too much to leave it unresolved." From the outside, they look almost identical. But one is a relationship on ice. The other is alive.
Here's the truth I keep having to relearn: silence isn't peace. It's delayed cost, with interest. Every hard conversation Angie and I have avoided didn't disappear — it just showed back up later, usually smaller in wrapping paper but heavier when we finally opened it.
Look at verse 2 again. Unity, the Psalmist says, is like oil poured out — running down the head, down the beard, onto the collar. That's not oil kept carefully in the jar. That's oil somebody was willing to spill.
Courageous conversation is what protects unity — in your marriage, your team, your friendships, your ministry. Speaking the truth in love is how relationships thrive instead of quietly eroding.
It's not the confrontation that kills unity. It's the silence.
Peacekeeping vs. Peacemaking
• Peacekeeping avoids the tension. Peacemaking resolves it.
• Peacekeeping stays quiet to smooth things over. Peacemaking speaks honestly, face to
face.
• Peacekeeping feels like unity in the moment. Peacemaking takes courage in the moment.
• Peacekeeping leaves a relationship untested. Peacemaking leaves it deepened.
Here's my challenge to you today: stop calling your silence peace. When you choose the harder conversation over the easier quiet, you position yourself for exactly what Psalm 133 promises — not tension avoided, but blessing. Life forevermore. That's not a small trade.
Courage to Walk in Unity | Written By Tony Gilmore
